All I want under the Christmas Tree

It's no secret that if I could wish for anyone to be under my Christmas tree it would be Nameless. I can't help wondering if someday I'll be surprised. Like maybe he'll show up on my door step, maybe I'll get a random text or a phone call. Sometimes I think of it happening the way it does in one of those romantic hallmark movies, but of course I snap out of it.

To be honest, I was not excited for this Christmas because I knew that the one person who I wished were by my side today, wouldn't be. Christmas is supposed to be a happy day, and something to look forward to, but to me it's just another salty reminder. The "present" Nameless left me last Christmas season was a cold shoulder and a big box of pain. So being full of the Christmas spirit has been kind of hard lately.

But whether or not Nameless shows up on my doorstep, or pops up from behind the Christmas tree one day the most important thing is that I have my happiness first because my happiness does not depend on him. Nameless was a big part of my happiness but he was not the source of it. Jesus is. And Jesus is the reason for Christmas anyway, so before I go on wishing for Nameless to be under my Christmas tree, my wish first and foremost (and for life), is that Jesus will always remind me where the source of my happiness truly comes from.

So with that, Merry Christmas, and I truly hope you have a merry one.