Take His Word

I'm so sorry it took me this long to publish a new post.

The hardest thing for me to do was to give God this whole situation with me and Nameless. I mentioned in an earlier post that part of me didn't want to let go of the pain because it was the only thing I had left of Nameless. I didn't know how to let go and move forward. But I did, and by doing so I kind of moved away from God also.

 I just felt like by dealing with God, I'd have to deal with the situation, but I was trying to move past the situation. By "moving past" I mean just locking it up and never looking at it again. I tried living as if me and Nameless never happened. As if I were a woman with a fresh heart that's never been taken. Of course it lasted until Nameless himself popped up and ruined that whole facade. Yes. Nameless is kind of sort of back.

It happened unexpectedly for the both of us actually. His openness to friendship definitely took me by surprise. He wasn't the guy who looked at me in the coldest way, the tone is his voice wasn't menacing...it was strange.It's strange because I remember clear as day how he was the exact opposite towards me a was a year ago and to see him now. To see him look at me the way he used to look at me, to see the smirk on his face that would pop up every so often, how he just sat there and listened to me...it all took me by surprise. Like what the heck changed? I mean I know I've been praying for him, but I didn't expect him to be a different person for like another 5 years. No, I'm joking. I didn't know what to expect.

But I remember God saying to me that he would make it right. This could actually be the start to what God said he was going to do, and he always keeps his word. But the problem right now is me. I'm scared and uncertain. I know there's a timing for everything, and God allowed this to happen right now for whatever reason that is. I'm pretty sure God is taking advantage of my uncertainty so I can learn to shut up, and just take his word.