Joke's on me

It's interesting to see how angry a person can become, and how much that anger can grow, no matter how long ago something has happened to them. I didn't realize this was me until about 2 minutes ago, when uncontrollable tears started running down my face. Maybe what I'm about to say is just out of anger, or maybe my heart has turned cold, but right now I believe in one thing and one thing only; 3 years with nameless was a joke and a waste of my time. For 3 years, that load of crap has fed me promise after promise about having a life together and about how much he loved me, and for 3 years I believed it. I held on to it because I truly believed he meant it, and that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. And in our last year together, he told me that nothing could change how much he loved me not even time, "I can't wait to grow up together," he said. In my opinion that doesn't sound like someone who saw our break up coming for a while. I'm not saying we didn't need time apart to grow because we did, but when he's telling other people that he broke up with me because we were arguing a lot, and "it was coming for a while", and when he's not telling me jack squat....it makes me wonder if anything he ever said to me was true. I'm just going to assume THAT IT WAS ALL A LIE. At this point I don't freaking care if he's just putting on a facade. Someone shouldn't just say things like that to keep up their act. And this lets me know that he cares more about what he looks like and less about how much it's hurting me. Which proves even more that him loving me was a joke, and me loving him was a waste of my time. This anger is not just coming from what he did to me, but I'm also angry at myself for believing him so wholeheartedly that it was enough to be able to cause me this much pain in the end. I actually wouldn't be surprised if his facade were true and he actually really did come out of this unhurt and unfazed; at least then I'd feel better knowing he was just a joke after all.

Congratulations Nameless, the joke is on me. 

P.S. For those of you wondering if he ever got in contact with me after we met up, take a guess (no).