My Heart Speaks

I mentioned in my first post that everything I write on this blog is going to be coming straight from my heart (hence the title), and it has. It's just that....do you ever get this feeling that no matter what you say, or how many ways/times you say it, it's still not exactly what you want to say or there's something else you need to say, you just don't know what? That's what I'm feeling. Usually when I'm feeling this way, I just write a poem. So, I'm just going to go off a limb here and write, because I feel like it's been most of my mind doing the talking instead of my heart. Alright, here we go:

My Heart Speaks

I don't know what it is
I don't know why
I have so many emotions scratching from inside
This pit filled with pain has gotten a lot deeper
And it's so heavy that I've become too numb to feel it
But the tears keep coming for a reason
They don't stop
And I wonder if that's what I'm filled with
If my pain is formed into tears that fill me like a tub
While torment soaks inside
bathing me with confusion
Dimming my bright light
Making it hard for me to see clearly
Except the movie screen my mind portrays
Replaying the day he shattered our dreams
With empty seats that promises should have filled
"I thought of your best interest"
I hear him say it
Over and over again
Confusion takes me to a track field
Making me run in circles
Lap by lap
I get more tired and more confused
Always ending up back where I started
Unable to find the right words for the question welling so deeply inside me
I finally come up with one
If it's my best interest he has in mind, then why am I being treated as if I'm the one unworthy?